“What people don’t understand is when we say ‘Teach men not to rape,’ we’re not talking about telling them not to jump out of the bushes in a ski mask and grab the nearest female. We’re talking about the way we teach boys that masculinity is measured by power over others, and that they aren’t men unless they “get some.” We’re talking about teaching men (and women) that it’s not okay to laugh at jokes about rape and abuse. We’re talking about telling men that a lack of “No” doesn’t mean “Yes,” that if a woman is too drunk to consent they shouldn’t touch her, that dating someone - or even being married to someone - does not mean automatic consent. We’re talking about teaching boys to pay attention to the girl they’re with, and if she looks uncomfortable to stop and ask if she’s okay, because sometimes girls don’t know how to say stop in a situation like that. We’re talking about how women have the right to change their mind. Even if she’s been saying yes all night, if she says no, that’s it. It’s over. That’s what we mean when we say ‘Teach men not to rape.’”—(via guraas)
“We praise people for being “naturally” smart, too, “naturally” athletic, and etc. But studies continue to show, as they have for some time now, that it is generally healthier to praise schoolchildren for being hardworking, than for being naturally gifted. We know now that to emphasize a child’s inherent ability places pressure on that child to continue to be accidentally talented, which is something that is hard for anyone to control. When the children who are applauded for their natural skills fail, they are shown to take the failure very personally. After all, the process of their success has always seemed mysterious and basic and inseparable from the rest of their identity, so it must be they who are failing as whole people. When students are instead complimented and rewarded for their effort and improvement, they tend to not be so hard on themselves. When they fail, they reason, “Well, I’ll work harder next time.” They learn that they are capable of success, rather than constantly automatically deserving of it, and they learn simultaneously that they are bigger and more complex than their individual successes or failures.”—Kate of Eat the Damn Cake, The Stupidity of “Natural” Beauty (via theimperfectascent)
It’s hard to believe that it’s already here (the weather certainly is not any indication). I have been pretty quiet on here for the last several weeks, but no news is good news I suppose. I have mostly been focusing on school work, since I have some important classes this semester. Um, in BL news, I managed to get the first three volumes of Love Pistols for a great price in my continual quest to buy BL without going over 20 bucks a volume. Also, I have come to realization that I want to try to be in a relationship and that those feelings are not the result of me looking for self validation. Unfortunately, outside of work, I cannot talk to boys and online dating is hardly any better…so not a whole lot of prospects.
I plan on going home next week, since I can save money on food and my family is really looking forward to seeing me. One of my friends from high school should be home around the same time, so hopefully I won’t die of boredom. My friends here want to go on a trip to the water park, but last minute plans are not my thing, so we shall see.
“As a Muslim feminist woman of color, I cannot relate to Slutwalks as it caters mostly to the definition of emancipation set by white women. Slutwalks deviate in terms of delivering the message against sexual assault. It turns a blind eye to women of cultures where flimsy clothes don’t necessarily lead to rapes. Muslim women get raped too. Nassim Elbardouh is right. “Do Not Rape” Walk sounds better. This isn’t to say that I don’t support Slutwalks. I simply can’t relate to a liberating movement that does not liberate nor acknowledge me. Western feminism, despite its undeniable achievements, still perpetuates the image of a white woman as the liberated one. If these feminists do claim to represent all women, they need to understand the dynamics of the cultures other women hail from. Don’t care if you’re wearing a thong or burka, no one has the right to rape you. Burka clad brown Muslim women get raped too. Represent us. I want a movement that represents me regardless of my color and creed. End victim blaming and rape culture by representing everyone.”—Mehreen Kasana via twitter on Slutwalks (via hisohiso)