This was the first time a friend from high school has actually met one of my friends from college. First, we went to the North Market, which had a holiday craft fair going on, but it was pretty small. I did get to try roasted chestnuts though. I also had this really great doughnut, but it wasn’t holiday themed. Then we went through the Short North and I finished getting gifts for my mother. Unfortunately, I didn’t bring my college ID and had to walk home, which would have been fine, but it was pretty icy.
I also finished all of my essays that involve going to a classroom, though I still have to write some essays. I should have started one today, but instead I am watching all of the Christmas specials by Rankin & Bass, even the obscure ones that are weird and terrible.
that is the best thing about cashiering. so many nail compliments.
I am usually the one doing the complimenting. Hahaha As soon as I go into “work mode” beware if you have sparkly nails or fancy jewelry, I will call you out on how fabulous you look. But all my cashier friends from work (and you) talk about how they get to look nice at work and I am so jealous.
I am in the middle of finals week and oh man, it is rough. You mean finals week isn’t for fixing your tag system and ordering Christmas gifts? My Latin this final killed me, it was just so much at once… At least, I already know I have an A in one of my classes.
Tonight, I am pulling an all-nighter for a history final. My reward for making it through will be to paint my nails cutely, so that all the customers can appreciate them during my cashier shift tomorrow. ~living the minimum wage dream~
One of the ways of thinking about social change is “let’s get the few most charismatic people who look the most like what society already thinks are good people, and have a few really spectacular cases and maybe some New York Times articles about them, and people will think we’re good, and like us, and perhaps we’ll make an advance for everyone.”
Turns out that doesn’t really work. It turns out that if you solve the problem for people who are the least vulnerable of the vulnerable, usually you end up mobilizing ideas that actually further the stigma of those who are considered outside or not good enough.
And so, the idea of “trickle-up” social justice is that we should actually, ethically, start with those who are facing the worst conditions, who are most losing their lives, those people in prisons and immigration facilities, and experiencing poverty and homelessness, we should start by figuring out how to solve the problems for them.
And inevitably, that will solve the problems for everyone, but it’s not the other way around.
”—Dean Spade, Trickle-Up Social Justice (via herocountry)
How can I be more tired now than I was before?! It was nice to see everyone, especially my family. I had to help my mother fix her computer after six months of no virus protection. It was frightening, I didn’t even know it could get that bad. Luckily, it looks like I got rid of most of the problems, which I am proud of because the alternative was for her to hire some guy who charges $100 an hour to do it (um, no, not happening). She also took me thrifting and I got a pretty nice sweater. I am becoming a big fan of sweaters. You just throw one on, but it looks so put together and like you tried.
I also saw my extended family over the break. I went black friday shopping with them and they got me a couple things at Bath & Bodyworks, but that was it. I kind of wanted to buy a 3DS, but I am wary of making a big purchase before a month of no work and then a month of no pay. OTL I just want to play animal crossing.
Now, I just have to power through this next week and a half of Hell before my real break can begin!
“All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.
This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?
The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.
At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.
Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.
But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.
The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.
They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.
And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.”—Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved (via expiry)
I made it home fine yesterday, though I was slightly disappointed. Back at school, there is this beautiful, sparkly, fluffy snow. It feels just like Christmas. Here it is just cold.
My cat was actually super happy to see me! I was afraid because she spent MONTHS being mad at me over the summer, but no, she is being all purry and lovey. I feel kind of guilty.
Last night, I hung out with my friends from high school. I have actually been really good at not drinking, even when everyone else is. It’s a lot less awkward than I feared. And today, I have two Thanksgiving dinners, which wow, that is a lot of food. I think I might try look nice though my family is pretty informal.